one sweet love.

Savor the sorrow to soften the pain
Sip on the southern rain, as I do
I don't look don't touch don't do anything
But hope that there is a you.'
(One Sweet Love - Sara Bareilles)


Oh, I so hope.

And if you're a Sara Bareille's fan... this is another great one. She's amazing and after this Beatles' cover I was nothing but spellbound. Enjoy!

Goodbye, my friend.

Yesterday was a terrible day for me.

A big chunk of my life is over and it is only part of my memory. The other part, the other memories are gone with someone I loved one day.

Yesterday I lost a friend. Someone I shared the same taste in music, movies, terrible jokes, old Monty Python videos, good and bad moments of my life with. I lost someone who once treated me like a princess and who took such good care of me. I remember feeling as if nothing else could happen to me when I was in his arms.

Even after we broke up, we decided we would still be friends. And that is what happened. I can't remember a single day since that September when I decided we were not going to be together anymore that you're not in one of my memories. You were my accomplice: I used to tell you all about my life, the guys I was going out with, you used to talk to me about your new family, your baby boy (I had never felt so much love coming from you), you used to show me your songs - the new ones and ask me if the lyrics were not cheesy or corny.

I finally made one of our dreams come true: I went to Canada - the place we were planning to move together to as a couple back in the day. You were there, every single day - supporting me, asking me if I could show you all the pictures so you could be happy for me as well. You were a great friend after all.

We went through terrible times, horrible fights, but I will never - EVER - forget that you were my one true love. The only one who made me shiver and gave me butterflies from day one to the last day I talked to you online before that terrible accident. We had this thing that most people look for in life: we connected instantly and we could feel and the other one was not feeling well - almost a mind-reading kinda thing.

I know that for many times you wished this happened to you. I remember having your head on my knees in bed, in certain moments when you were crying like a baby telling me you couldn't understand what you were doing in this world.

Well, at least I now know that you could rest. Your mind found the peace it has been looking for in a long time.

Yesterday I went to your funeral. I couldn't come upstairs at first. I guess I had never felt so much pain. My heart was in pieces and I couldn't put them together. Some of our friends tried to comfort me and made me go upstairs. I couldn't look at you. I couldn't come closer. That was not the image I wanted to have.

I couldn't understand how come people were still around you like that. Talking about random stuff when that was actually the last time they were going to see you. I stayed that for almost 2 hours - sitting on a chair in the back of that room. I may have tried to look at you more than twice. I was trying to recognize my friend, my one love in that place. I couldn't. And then there was that one moment I knew it was you - I could recognize your hands from a distance. The ones that used to play the guitar for me. And it was at that moment that I realized I would never see you again. That was my goodbye and I wanted to leave that place.

I left your funeral with some of our friends. I was smiling at them, but I didn't want to. I wanted to cry till my tears put me to sleep. I didn't eat anything yesterday. Our friends made me do it. I just don't feel like having fun or smiling. I'm sad and I still can't believe you left us like that.

I hope you are okay. I hope God receives you in all His grace and that you can finally realize your life had a purpose after all and that God exists.

I'll always think of you as someone who changed me somehow, as a great friend, as my first bearded guy... as the one who loved me as no one else has ever done.

Rest in peace, Lawrence.

Rebecca

Still about my SP getaway...

Top to bottom: 1. Ju & me @ Salada Paulistana - great beer; 2. skycrappers in SP; 3. Some people I reaaally like being photographed by me; 4. skycrappers; 5. Banespa Tower - I went all the way up there!; 6. view from the top to the place on pic 3; 7 & 8. Samba night!; 9. View from the top of the tower; 10. Samba night dancing.

I wanna do it all again!

Getting by has been the toughest thing after all.

There are some days I just feel like being somewhere else. There's nowhere specific. It's just a feeling that I says: 'You don't have to run all these errands, you don't have to deal with all those people, you don't have to go to work'. That's pretty much how I have been feeling lately. 

I apparently got sick & tired of this city after all.

I was also thinking of alternative ways of getting by every day (specially because lately temperature is one of the reasons I don't feel like going outside - it's 45C today) and I came up with an aim for my next year. That is the only reason that makes me get up every single day and do the things I have to do. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm not depressed or anything. It's just that I'm done with the city, with the weather... Not to mention my life has turned upside down in terms of work, relationships and family - but this is subject for another post.

So, I have to focus on next year and what  I'm doing from now on. I just hope it works. 

And while I do that, I wake up to this sound...

Have a nice day y'all.

The guy with the funny stories that melted my heart.

David is this great friend of mine. He's so special mainly because of his unique personality and character. 

I love how comfortable I am when he is around and how nice it is when I hug and kiss him. 

He has the best laughter ever. There is no way you can keep it when he starts laughing... I guess it's just contagious! As a plus he comes with so many great stories- there's no other person in this planet who'd beat him with clumsy situations to get yourself in. It's laughter + fun stories = perfect match.

David also dresses well and is soooo handsome it hurts. I love his white-skinned/hardly-ever shaved way of looking.

He could totally be a character in a cartoon. He's the only guy I know who is capable of pulling as many different faces as you can imagine. It's just so cute.

Oh, I'm not randomly talking about him.

It's just that it's his birthday today and I wanted to say how much I love him.

David, you're the sweetest, craziest, loveliest little human being I know. I wish you were my baby brother. 

And I wish you all the best in the world.

I love you to bits.

Happy Birthday!

Date a girl who reads

I found this on one of my favorite blogs and found out Rosemary Urquico wrote it... it's brilliant and I totally see myself in the same spot. Thank you Meg, from the wild and willy ways of a brunette bombshell, for posting it.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas, and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by God, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

São Paulo Snapshots!

Highlights from my last trip to São Paulo - Brazil: 1. Mercado Municipal - one of the best markets I've ever been to - I have a thing for markets!; 2. Demônios da Garoa - the oldest samba group in the world (you can check the Guiness Book!) - one of the best concerts I've ever been to!; 3. Campos do Jordão - lovely city. It's an hour drive from São Paulo - you can try the best fondues ever + delicious beer (see photo 5); 4. a snapshot from Campos; 5. Baden Baden - this is just DELICIOUS!; 6. Sunset at Campos: amazing view!

I thought this was a good way to start blogging! There's more to come!