Prayers.

Dad got worse. I can't explain how I feel right now.

Kinda like throwing up the food I didn't eat today.
Not like sleeping at all.
Scared. to lose. him.
Alone.
Hopeless. (and I shouldn't say that!)

But I pray. I pray to the Lord, with all His mercy that my dad comes back home. renewed.
I pray that God protects him in that hospital and that he is gonna be FINE.

Dad, I love you.

Please, come back to me. I can't do without you.

Eclipse of sadness.

' i think what i've figured out is this: everything passes. and sadness does not negate happiness--it sometimes eclipses it, sometimes not. the two can live side-by-side. they can co-exist. there is a sadness in me this morning, as i write this, but that is not to say i'm not happy.' (the wild and wily ways of a brunette bombshell, mind reading it)


Ever since I started reading this girl Meg's blog I cannot do anything but relate to her. I read every single post and it seems she's writing exactly what I feel/'m feeling. 


This weeks has been the hardest and as she mentioned on the post above, sadness does not negate happiness, it just eclipses it. What I potentially want to believe is that she's got a point and that things will turn out just fine. My dad being sick has turned my life upside down and I can't seem to do anything else but think about the possibility of losing him. It's killing me. 


Thanks Meg for writing things that shred a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for me.  I really appreciate it.


Rebecca

Hair - my (un)decided issue.

I get tired of how I look like very often. And by 'very often'  I mean almost every day. - Just so you know, I blame all the blogs I read and more recently Pinterest... 

Anyway, early this year I was really happy with my hair and the way it looked like.. I was living in Calgary so it looked perfect 24/7, after all, humidity was not a problem! I remember getting a haircut this one specific day and having to put up with a very (VERY) rude Japanese (she could also be Korean or Chinese, I'll never know) hairstylist who told me my haircut was very old-fashioned, it looked HORRIBLE and that I should never have had that straightening thing done to my hair. Okay. I listen to every single word she said, and guess what? She gave me this amazing haircut and the nicest bangs ever. My hair was long after a loooooong time and I was loving it. So braids were my favorite thing in the world. I learned how to braid my hair in the most different styles and I remember people saying I looked good!

Then, back to SCORCHING Brazil, I realized long hair was no longer an option, once I couldn't wear it loose. I was always on a ponytail or wearing a messy bun... and got super tired of it. And then, this one day I was walking along one very long avenue. It was something about +40 degrees and I decided I need a haircut to go through the summer in my city. There was no other option. That's when my beautiful (kinda)long hair was gone. I went for a short bob. It looked unbelievably neat, beautiful and yet PRACTICAL. There was no temperature rise to make me feel uncomfortable.

Now, I'm thinking about the color. I've been blonde for quite a while and I'm kinda tired of it. They say blonds have fun, well... I kinda did (haha) and now I'm thinking I'm gonna go red. Let's see what you all think.

The looks on this post served as inspiration for me when I thought about changing. And the last one is for future inspiration!

Have a good Monday!

:D

weekly update.

* So, Dad is still in the hospital. I can't put into words the way I'm feeling right now. all I can say is I'd trade places with him so I could be there.. going through all the pain rather than having to see my beloved daddy that vulnerable. Spent the weekend with him. Didn't get any sleep and I feel like 100 trucks had run over me. To top it all, it's father's day in Brazil. It was the saddest father's day ever. I'm pretty sure he'll be fine in no time, though. All my prayers to my dad.

* You know when you don't feel like having fun, like going out.. that's exactly how I've been feeling lately.

* On Thursday I went out with Clauder. It was a very nice and pleasant evening. We finally had the chance to talk, to drink some beer (a horrible one, btw) and to dance some samba. One of these week's highlights.

*  On Friday I went to my friend Rabeca's Baby Shower. I'm so excited we're soon getting to know Cecília! Oh, and it was a double baby shower. My great friend Arielli, who is anxiously waiting for Pedro to arrive, was also there to party! It was a fun evening, and even though I was reaally tired, I enjoyed every minute of it. I also got the chance to see my friends - I was really happy to see Will.. after a lonnnng, long time! and we got to take the pics on this post.

* Now I'm home and I'll try to get some sleep. Have a good week y'all.

random thoughts.

* Yesterday I started teaching again. It was CRAZY. I hate teaching at 8am. It's insane... hate waking up early in the morning, going to work in a hell of  a traffic and getting there to 8 teenagers who are there b/c their parents want them to. poor things.

* Never thought working two jobs would be THAT insane. Must say I  love my new one. Please, don't tell anyone.

* Last night I got home, decided to lie down for, say, 5 minutes while I talked to my mom... guess what? in 2 minutes I was out like light and mom was talking to herself. I was so tired I remember waking up at one point with mom telling me to change into my pj's because I was still wearing my work clothes (ewww). Don't get me wrong, I do shower and change into comfy clothes when I get home..

* There is not a single day I don't think about Lawrence. Simple things catch my attention and I can't help but think about him and how close we were. I really miss him. It's like someone took part of my life from me. damn, you law, why did you have to go like that?

* I gotta run. Pretty late already.. still have to fix my hair - it looks terrible today. I'll leave you with one of my favorite bands. One I got to know when I was in Calgary (and had the pleasure of seeing them in concert): Tequila Mockingbird Orchestra! (Oh, how I miss Calgary these days....)