Lists

My own version of the above:

1. Listening: to the Script - We Cry / Nothing & Florence & the Machine - You've got the Love.

2. Eating: nothing at the moment. I've just had this amazing chicken croissant at the mall. And earlier today I had a 'brigadeiro' - I'd love to say it's the same as a chocolate truffle, but it's not.. it's even better!

3. Drinking: I had a delicious strawberry juice + milk matte like one hour ago.

4. Wearing: Right now, well, jeans shorts, a mint t-shirt, flats, a leather belt, a watch and ladybug earrings.

5. Feeling: kinda heartbroken / kinda sad for my family / kinda excited for 2012 / kinda happy for my best friend who's finally seeing her boyfriend in person (after a long distance relationship).

6. Weather: we could say it's pretty cool for Manaus (where is usually scorching). It's been raining a lot, so we have this nice weather.

7. Wanting: lots of things - I want our New Year's party to be awesome; I want to go to NY as soon as I can; I want to earn more money so I can save it for my trip to NYC; I want a new blouse for our New Year's party...

This one I bought today so I can dream a little bit

8. Needing: I need my family to stop arguing. This is killing me.

9. Thinking: oh my, I think about so many things at the same time. Well, right now I'm thinking: should I put this or that picture on this post and what should I do next? should I read my new book?

10. Enjoying: that I'm on vacation and I don't have to work tomorrow!!!!!!

Oh, Christmas Tree!

We had decided we were not having any christmas decor this year. Due to my father's passing and all, my family wanted to have dinner on Christmas eve and that was pretty much it.

However, my mom got rid of the Grinch spirit that was all around and bought us an AMAZING Christmas tree. I love decorating our Christmas tree and it is my job every single year. I've been meaning to buy a white one for a long time but I could never find the perfect one.

This was not how I had planned it exactly, but I guess it turned out real cool.

I now present you with my very own, in golden and white, Christmas tree!

I think it looks pretty neat!

Merry X-mas!

Life.

Yesterday.
Two months.
My dad passed.
It is still.
Unbelievable.


Heart.
is.
broken.
It.
Hurts.

Dad, I miss you to bits. EVERY SINGLE DAY. It's been effin' hard without you.
I love you. I'll love you forever.

Rebecca

Prayers.

Dad got worse. I can't explain how I feel right now.

Kinda like throwing up the food I didn't eat today.
Not like sleeping at all.
Scared. to lose. him.
Alone.
Hopeless. (and I shouldn't say that!)

But I pray. I pray to the Lord, with all His mercy that my dad comes back home. renewed.
I pray that God protects him in that hospital and that he is gonna be FINE.

Dad, I love you.

Please, come back to me. I can't do without you.

Eclipse of sadness.

' i think what i've figured out is this: everything passes. and sadness does not negate happiness--it sometimes eclipses it, sometimes not. the two can live side-by-side. they can co-exist. there is a sadness in me this morning, as i write this, but that is not to say i'm not happy.' (the wild and wily ways of a brunette bombshell, mind reading it)


Ever since I started reading this girl Meg's blog I cannot do anything but relate to her. I read every single post and it seems she's writing exactly what I feel/'m feeling. 


This weeks has been the hardest and as she mentioned on the post above, sadness does not negate happiness, it just eclipses it. What I potentially want to believe is that she's got a point and that things will turn out just fine. My dad being sick has turned my life upside down and I can't seem to do anything else but think about the possibility of losing him. It's killing me. 


Thanks Meg for writing things that shred a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for me.  I really appreciate it.


Rebecca