Há essa garota. Alguém que fez questão de colocar nela mesma um rótulo: algo normal como um slogan pegajoso e que se repete através dos anos. O que ela não sabia, porém, era que tal logo funcionava basicamente como uma fuga - do que ela realmente é, do que deseja ser, mas nunca do que foi.
Essa garota se alimenta de algo etéreo, diria até mesmo surreal. Algo que não se compra, não se acha facilmente, mas quando o feito, desperta desejos ocultos e profundos de uma alma das mais diferentes formas: música, poesia, cinema, leitura (boa leitura) e acima de tudo palavras.
Acredito que acima de todas as outras coisas, as palavras a encantam. Palavras que tocam o seu ser e são diferentes dos outros. Aquelas proferidas em bares sujos com poetas perdidos na vida real. Mais ainda, aquelas ditas por alguéns inesperados, já vistos antes, mas que nunca haviam se pronunciado - essas então que a encantam.
É um alimento abstrato no sentido de não ser palpável, mas concreto no sentido de existir - filosoficamente falando. Algo que ela compartilha com personagens - julgados por ela como pessoas que procuram uma fuga da realidade e um medo do que é viver o que está ao seu alcance. A concretização desse combustível a mantém viva de maneiras estranhamente encaixáveis com o seu jeito rotineiro de viver.
Para muitos, ela pode ser encantadoramente charmosa, afrodisiacamente bonita e chamar atenção por cada esquina de detalhes da personalidade, mas quase nunca pela pele. Talvez a pele seja o mais secundário do que ela realmente é. Os homens acabam comprando essa poção de charme, afrodisíacos e fascínio. Mas compram justamente pelo efeito da droga: passageiro, como algo que 'alimentasse' a fome do vicio por coisas concretamente abstratas.
Do ponto de vista dela mesma, o difícil vai ser se encontrar. Talvez esse nem seja o verbo certo. Talvez o verbo certo seja se 'desesconder', se revelar. Fazê-lo num mundo onde ela seria rotulada como alguém com medo das convenções, do tradicional. Alguém que só achará paz quando o seu sexo oposto lhe oferecer o seu mesmo veneno. Quando ela provar da sua própria poção. De um alguém que fomente a sede das artes, da beleza, da vida, do charme e faça com que ela transborde essas emoções.
Que esse alguém seja um. Todos em um. Um nela. Um.
Here is a compilation of songs that have to do with my life in some way. They are in random order. I just want to make sure they are here so in maybe three years, I'll come back to read this post and listen to them again!
1. Wish for Something More - Amy MacDonald
This song pretty much says it all. It summarizes my love life in the past 5 years. A love life of being in love with best friends and ruining everything. I love the song despite it all.
2. Something - The Beatles
This was the song my ex-boyfriend (the one who died last year) wrote on my Orkut (seriously!) wall five minutes after we'd met. And he signed the song with the sentence: Thanks George (Harrisson), you said it all. It was so cliche and so cute at the same time!
3. Talk Tonight - Oasis
The same boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend while playing this song. It was pretty awesome.
4. Killing Moon - Echo & the Bunnymen
Someone proposed to me while this song was playing. I'll never forget that night. Even though things didn't work out, you never forget a marriage proposal. Plus, I love Echo & the Bunnymen (period)
5. I Felt the Chill Before the Winter Came - Elvis Costello
I bet this person has no clue this song reminds me of him, but WHENEVER I listen to it, he comes to my mind and out whirlwind kinda relationship comes to my mind. It's a good feeling, though.
6. This is the Life - Amy MacDonald
This is my best friend Katy's and my song. We kill at it! It's our opening act in our imaginary concert!
7. It's Beginning to Get Me - Snow Patrol
This reminds me of my C-train ride in Calgary at 6 pm when I was going home. Whenever I listent to it, I can literally see the view of the Bow River, the bridge, the train, the people, the cold weather. It's such a happy thought!
8. Miss Misery - Elliot Smith
This reminds me of a long year in my life when I thought I didn't deserve much respect from anyone for being such a bad person. I could see myself in it. I really like the song, don't get me wrong!
9. Lover, You Should've Come Over - Jeff Buckley
This could be a music combo, really. I could just put Lilac Wine, Last Goodbye and Hallellujah in this very same category, or I could just name it Buckley. He's such a recurring figure in my life, connecting me to different people, at different times. Nevertheless, the most special moment I had with this song was when this guy I was madly in love with sent me this very specific part as a letter:
'It's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when I sleep so soft against her...
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she is the tear that hangs inside my soul forever...'
10. Time Has Told Me - Nick Drake
Again, this is another song that two people have said to think of me when listening to it. And amazingly, they reffered to the same part:
'Time has told me... You're a rare, rare find, the troubled cure, for a troubled mind...'
11. A Flor - Los Hermanos
This is a Brazilian band and my favorite of all times. My grandma' always says this is MY song and whenever she listens to it it's as if I were there!
12. Nowehere Man - The Beatles
This is my ex-boyfriend's tune. Lyrics are very self-explanatory.
13. Primavera - Música de Brinquedo - Pato Fu
This song was 2011 for me. It reminds me of the first semester, when things were okay, I was in love, My dad was fine and I was completely happy. It reminds me of a very special friend as well.
14. Slow Dancing in a Burning Room + Free Falling - John Mayer
Both set the end of a very long and heartbreaking relationship for me.
15. Magnolia Mountain - Ryan Adams
Not only does this song reminds me of my two best friends Ila & Katy, but it's also a song that I truly love, from moment one when I got to know Ryan Adams to date. Really, I love it.
16. Falling Slowly - The Swell Season (Marketa Irglova & Ben Hansard)
This is the song of my life. Everyone who knows me, knows how special this song is for me. And I love the movie.
17. Love Will Come Through - Travis
I've always loved Travis. It's an old love. They make me feel special, happy, nostalgic, all in one. And they've been in my life for so many different reasons, at different moments, times. This is just one of my favourites, but their compilation album Singles could be here without a doubt.
18. Ten Cent Blues - Eisley
I. LOVE. THIS. BAND. SO. BAD. End of conversation. They've been with me forever.
19. Falsa Baiana - Roberta Sá
This is so me & him when we were an item. When we used to go dancing and to dance until our legs were so tired we couldn't stand anymore. It was something between me and him and no one else. Which is lost in time now.
20. Homesick - Kings of Convenience
This is about me and my friends and whenever I listen to it, it makes me think about all of them and how blessed I am to have them with me all the time.
So last night we attended the wedding of one of mt best friend's brother. It was a very simple ceremony yet very beautiful. I love weddings. They bring something special to my life. I guess this one closes 2011 in a very good way for me (after this crazy whirlwind this year was).
Also, my best friend Ila's boyfriend has just arrived in town and I couldn't be more excited for her. It's been a long two-months long distance relationship, but they're finally together. I'm SO happy for both of them. Because of that, yesterday was a day to be spent with this great couple in the hope that everything works out for them!
Now I'm super looking forward to New Year's Eve! ;) I hope everyone has a good one!
1. Listening: to the Script - We Cry / Nothing & Florence & the Machine - You've got the Love.
2. Eating: nothing at the moment. I've just had this amazing chicken croissant at the mall. And earlier today I had a 'brigadeiro' - I'd love to say it's the same as a chocolate truffle, but it's not.. it's even better!
3. Drinking: I had a delicious strawberry juice + milk matte like one hour ago.
4. Wearing: Right now, well, jeans shorts, a mint t-shirt, flats, a leather belt, a watch and ladybug earrings.
5. Feeling: kinda heartbroken / kinda sad for my family / kinda excited for 2012 / kinda happy for my best friend who's finally seeing her boyfriend in person (after a long distance relationship).
6. Weather: we could say it's pretty cool for Manaus (where is usually scorching). It's been raining a lot, so we have this nice weather.
7. Wanting: lots of things - I want our New Year's party to be awesome; I want to go to NY as soon as I can; I want to earn more money so I can save it for my trip to NYC; I want a new blouse for our New Year's party...
This one I bought today so I can dream a little bit
8. Needing: I need my family to stop arguing. This is killing me.
9. Thinking: oh my, I think about so many things at the same time. Well, right now I'm thinking: should I put this or that picture on this post and what should I do next? should I read my new book?
10. Enjoying: that I'm on vacation and I don't have to work tomorrow!!!!!!
This past Thursday we decided it was time we had a mini get together to celebrate our very own Christmas. We all went to our friend Marcia's place where we ended up having a delicious potluck dinner with lots of fun, talk, booze (hahah) and gifts.
We had decided we were not having any christmas decor this year. Due to my father's passing and all, my family wanted to have dinner on Christmas eve and that was pretty much it.
However, my mom got rid of the Grinch spirit that was all around and bought us an AMAZING Christmas tree. I love decorating our Christmas tree and it is my job every single year. I've been meaning to buy a white one for a long time but I could never find the perfect one.
This was not how I had planned it exactly, but I guess it turned out real cool.
I now present you with my very own, in golden and white, Christmas tree!
I find reading random blogs truly inspirational. Knowing about some stranger's life and seeing how much you two have in common. It's just one of the weird things I do and I can spend hours doing that.
It was because one of these blogs that I decided that my very own personal space was no place for crying and going on about bad breakups or talking about people who no longer have a place in your life. I decided that my blog was a place for me to look back someday and read about the beautiful friends I had/have, the amazing places I visited, the great experiences I had/have in life and how they changed me somehow.
So if anyone expected sadness and anger, I'm sorry. I truly decided this is a place for moments of happiness.
With that in mind, It is time to post some pictures from last night.
I have mentioned before that I am the events' coordinator at work (aside from teaching English 24/7). So this past month has been hectic (really? I'd love to use this word less often) for I had to plan the end-of-year party for the entire company. Yes, that is right. The whole thing. I'm not going to take credit for it, specially because I had lots of help from all the managers and coordinators, but the party was REALLY GOOD.
Before the pics, I would like to congratulate my best friend Katy (you'll see her in some of the pictures) on having been chosen 'employee of the year', my good friend Juliana (unfortunately she's not in the pics) on being chosen 'teacher of the year', my former student and now a teacher Victor on his 'Most Improved Teacher of the Year' award (he made me SO PROUD!) and my GREAT friend Lu for being nominated 'Best Coordinator'. It was so hard to keep those awards a secret from you, but I guess it was worth the surprise!
Having said all that, here are the pics from last night!
Katy, David, Victor, Me & Ila - after the party going for a beer
Me (yes, I am that white!), Ila & Katy - Ma' Girls
That's me playing the hostess!
Katy getting her award from our Director (& very pissed at Ila's shouting at her!
Katy still getting her award
Victor and his certificate! PROUD!
David, Me, Ila & Katy after the award winning ceremony
The coolest people on Earth (Look at this picture! How cool is that? haha)
Mari & Me (and my zit) - I love this pic - AND my red lipstick!
Everybody put your hands up!
dance floor (haha)
Girls I truly love.
And then, I'll leave you to the sound of this really amazing band I got to know today and I couldn't help but listen to it maybe a hundred times before this post. I hope you enjoy it.
(By the way, I found this video on this amazing blog Honest to Blog - by Carynn Mae - Totally worth a visit!)
